My week thus far..

I do have an update for you guys from my previous post. Verushka and I are no longer together as a couple. This saddens me but I believe it was for the best. There were many things in the relationship that kept us from being able to function healthily(sp?) as a couple. One of the big things was the fact that she will be signing up for the Air Force soon. I felt almost like both of us would be emotionally investing into something that would soon come to an end when she left for the military. It was hard for me because I care deeply for her but didn't want to keep her from pursuing her many goals that she has set in life. It also really bothered me that she had much emotional baggage in her life that it seemed to come between us. I felt in many ways that she had trust issues in me because of the fact that she had such a shitty past with guys. It sucks because I know she is a quality girl with many great things to offer but I just don't feel that she is ready for a serious, commited relationship. Who knows, there might be a future for us down the road or it may be time to move along and find people who are more compatible with what we both want.

Lately, my dad has been driving me loco with this whole brand new carpet thing. We have basically had to stop our lives to pack up stuff in boxes, move furniture, and buy various items for the house before the carpet is installed. I am exhausted and my parents are exhausted. Everything has just been a stressful project with one thing after the other.

Last night, I had the opportunity to go on a ride along with a cop friend of mine and I had such a blast. We were constantly busy most of the night with calls of domestic disputes among other things. The sad case was of a guy and his little girl who we got a call on who had some illegal substances on him. The worst part was that his little girl was four and she was balling her little eyes out. She was asking the police officers if her daddy was going to jail as tears streamed down her face. She continued saying "Daddy, I love you" and "Can I go be with my dad?". She was such an adorable little girl. She told me about what she did at school on the playground, throwing a ball around and running after it. She was the most adorable little girl I had ever seen or been around. Thankfully, her mom came to rescue her and pick her up to take her home. The dad was arrested and sent to jail. Throughout the night, we would meet up with other officers and have conversations about life and hobbies. I really enjoyed the tight knit, close family feel of the officers. Everyone was very accepting of each other. No one looked down on anyone. It made you feel equal and not set apart from everyone else.

Life is wonderful.. :)

I will start off by apologizing for my recent departure from blogging. I have been staying busy with a relationship, church, work, and figuring out what I will do with the rest of my life. Lately, I have been considering a degree in communications to do public relations/advertising. Everything has been going well with the girlfriend except for the fact that I was an idiot and dropped the "I think I am falling in love with you" bomb. If you would have asked me before a couple days ago "what would you take back and make different if you could go back in time" then I would definitely have worded it differently. My only problem was that suddenly I was hit with these overwhelming feelings for this incredible girl and my choices were to either keep it bottled up or tell her how I feel. If I could go back, I would have told her that I have strong feelings for her and that I hope that we can continue our relationship long term. A huge part of me is not wanting her to join the military but at the same time I realize that this could be a really amazing opportunity for her to find a career direction and progress with her life in a positive direction. All I know is that I am always wanting things to go as perfectly as possible even though I know things aren't always going to be a smooth and easy ride. I just want to make her happy and not scare her away because I can be an idiot and say things that I shouldn't always say. I enjoy each and every moment I am with her. I get this overwhelming feeling when I kiss her and I just dont want to stop. She is beautiful and I love so many things about her. I will update you guys as soon as I figure out how much shit I am in :).